What Are Executive Functioning Skills?
A Foundational Guide for Caregivers
Executive functioning refers to a set of mental processes that help us manage ourselves and our resources to achieve a goal. These processes include planning, focusing attention, remembering instructions, managing time, and juggling multiple tasks successfully.
For caregivers of children with autism, understanding executive functioning is not just a helpful skill, it’s an essential lens for interpreting behavior and supporting development. These cognitive abilities directly affect a child’s ability to function independently, manage emotions, and thrive in structured and unstructured environments.
Let’s hop into the categories!
Understanding the Core Executive Functions
Executive functioning is often grouped into three major categories, which underpin a range of more specific skills.
1. Working Memory
Definition: The ability to hold and manipulate information in one’s mind for short periods
In Real Life: Following a multi-step direction like “Put your shoes on, grab your backpack, and wait by the door.”
Common EF Challenge: A child might remember only the first step or get distracted midway
2. Inhibitory Control (Impulse Control)
Definition: The capacity to pause before acting and resist impulses
In Real Life: Not grabbing a toy from another child or waiting one’s turn during a game
Common EF Challenge: Emotional outbursts, interrupting conversations, or acting without thinking
3. Cognitive Flexibility
Definition: The ability to switch gears and adapt to new information or situations
In Real Life: Coping when a favorite snack is unavailable or a planned outing gets canceled
Common EF Challenge: Rigidity, meltdowns during transitions, or inability to adjust expectations
How Executive Functioning Manifests in Children with Autism
Children with autism may experience delays or impairments in any or all executive functioning areas. This can impact their ability to:
Transition smoothly between activities
Organize their belongings
Complete schoolwork without repeated prompting
Handle frustration when routines are disrupted
Communicate feelings and regulate their emotional responses
Instead of interpreting these behaviors as “difficult” or “lazy,” it’s important to understand them as signs of underdeveloped skills.
Supportive Strategies for Caregivers
Executive functioning skills don’t develop on their own—they can (and should) be explicitly taught, modeled, and reinforced. Here are strategies you can begin using immediately:
1. Externalize the Brain
Children with weak EF benefit from visual, physical, or verbal tools to support internal regulation.
Try:
Visual schedules with images showing the sequence of daily activities
Checklists for chores, routines, or multi-step tasks
Timers (sand timers, visual countdown apps, digital alarms) to manage transitions
First-Then boards to clarify expectations “First toothbrushing, then books”
Why It Works: These tools reduce the need to “remember everything,” easing cognitive demands and reducing anxiety.
2. Break Tasks Into Manageable Steps
Multi-step tasks can feel overwhelming and discouraging. Break them down into chunks.
Try:
Turning “clean your room” into steps: “Pick up toys, then books, then clothes”
Using visuals to represent each step (task analysis charts)
Celebrating each mini-step with verbal praise or sticker chart
Tip: Some children benefit from “check off” lists they can physically mark as they go
3. Provide Predictability with Routine
A consistent daily structure helps children develop independence and EF skills naturally
Try:
Sticking to a regular morning and bedtime schedule
Preparing your child in advance for any changes (“Today we have a doctor’s appointment instead of”)
Embedding transition cues like songs, countdowns, or visual timers
Why It Works: Predictability reduces the load on working memory and helps prevent meltdowns
4. Model Executive Function Skills
Children learn by watching. Narrate your thought process to make executive functioning skills visible
Try:
“I’m making a grocery list. First I check what we already have, then I write what we need.”
“I was feeling frustrated, so I took three deep breaths before answering.”
Why It Works: This builds self-awareness and encourages self-talk, a foundational self-regulation skill
5. Support Emotional Regulation
EF and emotional control are tightly linked. A child who can’t regulate feelings may also struggle with planning, flexibility, or impulse control.
Try:
Labeling emotions: “You seem really angry right now.”
Using tools like Spot of Emotions or feelings chart
Creating a calm-down bag with sensory items: stress balls, fidgets, headphones, etc.
Practicing coping strategies when calm: breathing, squeezing a pillow, using a weighted blanket
6. Reinforce the Process, Not Just the Outcome
Executive functioning skill-building takes time and repetition. Celebrate effort, not just success!
Try:
“I saw you stop and think before shouting, I’m proud of you for thinking about it!”
“You followed your whole schedule today, how does that make you feel?”
When to Seek Professional Help
If executive functioning challenges are significantly impairing your child’s ability to learn, socialize, or function, you might benefit from:
A neuropsychological evaluation to assess EF and other cognitive areas
Occupational therapy for motor planning and sequencing
Speech-language therapy for memory, self-talk, and sequencing
Behavioral or executive function coaching
Understanding executive functioning transforms how caregivers interpret their child’s behavior. What may seem like “not trying” is often “not yet able.”
By externalizing supports, modeling effective strategies, and reinforcing growth, you help build the bridge between dependence and independence. With patience and guidance, children can improve their executive functioning skills and in turn, their confidence, autonomy, and success across environments!